Some Courting and Dating Styles of Men that Didn't Work

The following are some courting and dating styles of men that didn’t work on me. I’m not sure if it worked on some other women though.

An Obvious Agenda

I had this grade school classmate, we were dance partner and we become close during rehearsals. He was 11, we were of the same age and I owe him for teaching me to ride a racer bike. But one day he surprised me saying “you’re like a banana, so enticing to peel”.

If he has said it to me today, I would just probably blush and get over it. But I was too young and innocent then that every time he’ll passed by our house for a visit, I’ll go hiding.

Guys, think before you spill out the beans or you’ll scare us away.

Testing the Waters

After a very long time, I happened to bump into one of my high school classmate. After the coincidence, he came to my house. When I asked him what he is doing in my place, he said “Oh, I was just passing by”. But he was in the house for hours asking me questions about yesteryears.

Some guys are so afraid of rejection that they’ll test the waters first before they fetch it. Real men are not cowards.

Charade

My friend’s cousin often asks me to accompany him in our organizational affairs or for some program preparations. He always involved me in. I thought it’s just because I am his vice-president. Until one day, our common friends started teasing us. I wasn’t really informed of his motive. A few months passed, one of our common friend asked me in front of him, what is the reason of not accepting him as of yet. I didn’t want to embarrass him so I just played dead-ear. I was mumbling but in my head, “why, is there a question?”

How can we know your real intention if you don’t spill it out? You don’t want us to be just presumptuous, do you? What is there to answer when there is no question?

Guys, gals are not like Edward Cullen, a vampire who can read minds. So, speak up!

Double-Standard

I’ve met this guy, he became a jogging pal. He calls me everyday at work, we jog every Saturdays and Sundays. One time, he mentioned on the phone that he is easily turned off when his gal is dating another guy. As for him, it is embarrassing to know from a friend to see his constant date dating with another guy. He is implying that if I’ll date another guy, he’ll back out. So I asked him the other side of the coin, if he wants exclusivity, would he do the same? He said, it’s not awkward to see men dating various girls. I felt injustice, where is gender equality here?

Few weeks passed, I’ve met an Indian national. He’s handsome, physically fit, funny and a sensible person. He has an interesting personality that I allow him to befriend me.

But the former guy got irritatingly jealous, he didn’t backed out but he is making me feel guilty about going out with the Indian guy. I made it clear to him that I’m only being friendly and the latter has no chance with me. But he still feels bad about it that though he communicates with me, he won’t ask me out anymore. One night, he’s texting me, I’m missing him a lot but I still feel disappointed so I dumped him.

Guys, you can’t have it both ways, if you want exclusivity, you have to earn it.

Vote Buying

My brother’s high school classmate often visits my family in ordinary days. When he’s here, my brother isn’t around and so I always make up for my brother’s absence. He became close to my mother, he was like a family. I thought it was my brother he’s visiting until I got a letter revealing his heart out. But I do not care.

Guys, don’t you think you have to win our hearts first before trying to please everyone in the family. If we didn’t like you, you're just prolonging your agony.

***

After all this dating stuff I’ve found out, one sure way to make the guy aggressive is to make him jealous. Nothing drives a man crazy but by seeing competition. He is threatened yet challenged by it. Tried it thrice, it was always effective.

Though sometimes, I’d rather prefer the western style of courtship and dating. In the west side, they do not court, just date and say “I like you” bluntly to one another. No pretensions, just straight-forward. If you got turned off eventually, there’s not much time wasted investing in a relationship that was not worth it.

In the traditional way of courting, guys will just tend to put their best foot forward, you’ll never get to know the guy’s darker side unless you two are childhood friends. Even if you push the courtship too long trying to decipher the guy’s personality, it doesn’t guarantee a deeper relationship.

Whether you took the hard way or the short cut, it’ll just be the same. You just have to take the risk/s if you want to love and be loved.